20.0220-0900 It's all about PRESENCE
@25.1126-1008.54 by Atx
I spend large sums of money on latex suits so that I can cover myself with it.
I subject myself to all manner of delicious RubbeR torture and confinement, which often profoundly affect my body, mind, and spirit.
I dream about crazy RubbeR fantasies.
I like being mildly horny all the time—it keeps me focused.
Why do I do this to myself? What am I looking for?
Isn't it presence that I seek?
The goal is to transcend the duality of pleasure and pain and to use sexual energy to achieve a deeper connection with my fetish and a heightened state of consciousness. The result is a profound sense of being fully present in the moment.
Hevea requires RubbeR. Lots of it. All the time.
And, more importantly, there is something deep and primal within me that compels me to fill my consciousness with awareness of RubbeR in each moment. In real life, that's not always possible, of course. I have to experience other situations that steal that attention, such as work, taxes, death, and spouses.
I wonder if this is the main idea behind much of the Gay Heavy Rubber culture, in which people wear excessively heavy garments. I suppose if you are washing the dishes while wearing a 2mm thick rubber 'prison' suit, you will be very aware of most of your movements. You can move about, but everything you do is restricted somewhat. It thrusts RubbeR into your mind. You'd probably find it all very distracting from the dishes. That's the whole point.
Hevea requires me to fill every waking moment with her. She is *that* selfish.
It's all about Presence.